Recommendations for Improvement of Sales Skills and Abilities


The following recommendations were developed to work with the Real Estate Simulator™ assessment.

These recommendations are organized in the same way as the assessment (i.e., Sales Skills, Cognitive Ability, and Personality) and provide several recommendations for each category, which were compiled by sales experts. Please review these recommendations, and if you are not already practicing these techniques, try them to see how well they work for you.

You can read the entire document or jump to a specific section by clicking a link below.

1 SELLING SKILLS

1 .1 BUILDING RAPPORT AND QUALIFYING PROSPECTS.
1 .2 LISTENING AND COMPREHENSION.
1 .3 MANAGING THE SALES PROCESS.
1 .4 CLOSING SKILLS.

2 COGNITIVE ABILITY

3 PERSONALITY

3.1 EXTRAVERSION
3.1.a Sociability
3.1.b Assertiveness

3.2 CONSCIENTIOUSNESS
3.2.a Achievement-Orientation
3.2.b Dependability

3.3 EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE

 

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1. Selling Skills

Like any skill, sales and communication skills improve with practice. You should practice sales techniques in your head, practice with a trainer or a coach, practice with your spouse or partner. You should practice your scripts, practice presentations, practice answers to questions at every opportunity you get, practice, practice, practice. You need to practice in order to be able to deliver the message in a natural way as if it were yours. Don’t worry – you will not become a mechanical unit, but you will become well prepared to respond confidently in any situation!

What exactly should you practice? Here are few important techniques for you to master.

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1.1 Building Rapport and Qualifying Prospects.

All of your business development activities (such as canvassing, networking, sending out mailings, marketing, advertising, and obtaining referrals from your past clients) generate leads. The key challenge is to quickly qualify the leads and to build working relationships with most promising prospects. You need to promptly develop a sense of trust and, at the same time, qualify prospects’ intentions to buy. In sales it is important not to waste time with prospects who are either not serious about buying or are not in a position to buy (e.g., they may not have the money, may not have the authority, etc). Thus, the most important skill in the early stage of the sales process is to find a balance between (a) building rapport and (b) qualifying prospects and to perfect each of these two elements.

The most effective way to do this is to observe the best in action! Find out who the top agents are in your office and invite them for a coffee or lunch. These are the people you want watch and learn from. Listen carefully to their war stories and advice. Ask them if you can go on sales calls with them and observe their technique. Ask them to be your mentor. Another effective way to improve your opening skills is to work with a trainer or a coach who specializes in real estate sales.

i.) Build Rapport.
People tend to make judgments about others quickly, and in sales, prospects form an opinion of you during your first interactions. Right or wrong your prospects will decide immediately whether they can trust, depend on and work with you. This is why building rapport with prospects is an important component in becoming a highly successful real estate agent.

Make an immediate impact.
Over 90% of communication is interpreted through non-verbal communication. This includes facial expressions, physiology, and body language or positioning. But it also includes your tone of voice, and such other factors as your choice of clothing or the car you drive. Prospects tend to react more to what they think you meant to say, rather than what you actually said. Thus, when building rapport pay just as much, or even more, attention to the non-verbal signals you send out as to the words you use.

Ensure the following:

Shake hands with everyone
Smile and project enthusiasm
Make eye contact, especially when talking about money
Remove distractions while talking to your clients (e.g., turn off your cell phone or set it to vibrate)
Dress appropriately and professionally
Make sure your car is clean and free of garbage

Match and mirror.
Research shows that when you match or mirror the postures, gestures, and tone of voice of whomever you are communicating with, their brain receives unconscious signals that say, “Hey, you're like me!” Since people trust those who are most like themselves, you can think of non-verbal rapport as a dance, where you are the follower and whomever you want to influence is the leader. Try to capture the atmosphere and spirit of the conversation, and match your prospects’ posture. Stand, walk or sit like them. Pay attention to how they move or remain still. Then gradually adapt your positions so that they match or mirror theirs. Also try matching your tone of voice to that of your prospects (e.g., loud, soft, fast, slow).

Ask questions.
One important aspect of building a sense of trust is “selling” yourself to the prospect by explaining how you work and talking about your success rate. Prepare a few short scripts that you can use to do this. However, an even more important aspect of building rapport is finding out information about the prospects and their needs. Asking questions communicates to the prospect that you care about their situation and conveys professionalism (i.e., a sense that you are going to take care of them). The more your prospects feel that you truly understand them and their needs (or problems) the more they will want to do business with you. Talking less about yourself helps establish trust and confidence in your abilities. By far the most effort on your part should go into asking questions, listening, and having prospects feel that you truly understand their situation; much less effort should go into selling yourself or educating them.

Stay on the topic.
Building rapport certainly involves finding out about prospects’ personal lives and preferences, however try to stay on the topic and don’t get diverted from your goal. Don’t get into long-winded conversations about their (and particularly yours) personal lives and interests. It is up to you, as the sales professional, to guide the conversation back on course.

Be Aware of social cues.
It is also important to be aware of the social cues that provide some insights into the person behind the client. Watch the body language and listen to the tone of voice. Sometimes social cues can tell you more than the words. For example, body language can tell you more accurately if the person is receptive to your message. Some prospects may be too shy to ask for more information, but their body language may say “Tell me more.” In contrast, other prospects may be too polite to cut off your monologue, but their body language says “I have had enough of you.”

ii.) Qualify Prospects.
Qualifying prospects involves distinguishing the non-motivated buyers and sellers from the motivated ones who want to do something now. This is accomplished by checking prospects’ level of motivation, resources, and availability. Successful agents know how to do this quickly and efficiently. Frequently, they have a set of questions that they use to separate motivated and unmotivated people. You should not waste time with marginal prospects who are not serious about buying or cannot afford the properties you are showing them, but rather try to work only with solid clients. Develop a questionnaire composed of qualifying questions. Consider these topics:

Motivation.
The level of motivation typically depends on the prospect’s sense of urgency and mental commitment to buy or sell. Find out why and when your prospects want to sell or buy. To inquire about the time frame and desire to move, ask: Why are you buying? Why now? When are you planning to move? What happens if you could not? For example, people who are moving for a job are usually highly motivated.

You can also ask about how long they have you been looking for a home. The longer the time the buyer has been looking, the lower the motivation. If a couple has been looking for a year, you should explore why they have not been able to find a home. Perhaps they have unrealistic expectations about the price or the type of property they are looking for. Or maybe they just enjoy the shopping process and they do not want it to end. If that’s the case, move on to more promising prospects on your list or continue generating leads.

It is also advisable to find out whether they have to sell a house before buying another one. If they do, ask if it is currently on the market. You should be careful working with prospects who refuse to list their present home before you find them a perfect property.

Resources.
“Resources” refers to the buyer’s ability to pay. Find out how much the prospective buyer can afford and whether the buyer’s expectations are in line with the market. One key question that will help you determine the buyer’s ability to purchase is, “Have you met with a lender yet?” Truly motivated purchasers meet with lenders and often have been pre-qualified with a lending institution. If they have not and they have been looking for six months, they are not very motivated and you should move on.

Availability.
Make sure that the prospects are available to work with you. You should determine early in the relationship whether or not the prospect is working with another agent. If they are, move on. Don’t invest time in researching listings before you find out whether the prospects are already working with someone else. If a buyer is working with another agent, let that agent do the work for them.

If you feel awkward qualifying prospects, remember that it will save time later. Reduce the time you spend working with marginal prospects, and instead engage in business development activities (such as canvassing, networking, marketing, advertising). Push yourself to uncover more opportunities and find more qualified prospects to work with. The key to selling is to consistently do those activities that best identify motivated prospects. If your pipeline is filled with qualified and motivated prospects you will not have time to work with marginal prospects.

Your ability to qualify prospects will improve with practice. It typically takes new agents 12 to 18 months to develop the ability and the conditioning to ask the necessary questions and to overcome the fear of loosing a potential buyer. To become a top performer, you need to learn how to avoid the “buyers who never buy.” This type of instinct takes time.

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1.2 Listening and Comprehension.

When it comes to sales, one’s ability to listen plays a significant role. In fact, experts describe listening as “the most important skill to develop for a successful real estate career”(Carla Cross, “Up and Running in 30 Days,” 2001, p. 45). Unfortunately, many people think of listening as being synonymous with hearing – it is not! Listening is a mental skill that involves actively figuring out and understanding the meaning of the client’s message. Here are a few strategies to help you improve your listening skills.

i.) Ask Questions.
Don’t just wait for clients to tell you what they want. Be proactive and ask questions to find your clients’ desires and requirements. Recognize that selling is not a matter of presenting a list of properties, rather it requires matching clients’ needs with benefits provided by the properties. Uses questions to obtain understanding of the customer's needs/goals before advocating specific properties. Try these questions:

What type of home are you looking for? Layout, style, design of the home; one story or two; size of the lot; etc
What size of home are you looking for? The number bedrooms and bathrooms, etc
What areas are you considering?
Which of these are necessities and which are desirables?
What price range?

In addition to asking them what they are looking for, also find out about the client: where they live now, whether they are renting or owing, how many children they have, why are they buying what they are buying, etc. Ask questions that don't elicit a simple "yes" or "no" answer to determine a customer's views and opinions. For example, use the following to begin a question: "What do you think...," or "Tell me about...."

ii.) Practice Active Listening.
In sales, if you are not listening, you miss important information and potentially lose sales. Practicing active listening increases the probability that you will comprehend your client’s needs and wants and improve your effectiveness at closing transactions. Unfortunately, people are typically not taught how to listen well and solid listening skills need to be developed. The following listening techniques can improve your listening skills:

Talk less; limit your own talking to 30% of the conversation
Don’t interrupt
Use listening responses: “yes,” “go on”
If something that the client says is unclear, ask the client to elaborate
Pay attention with eye contact
Take notes
Don’t jump to conclusions
Don’t argue or criticize mentally and don’t impose your opinion on the client of what they should want
Listen with an open mind and try to recognize the emotion behind what they are saying
Listen to the exact words your clients use; utilizing clients’ own words and phrases can be very powerful in communicating with them
Focus on what your client is saying, not on your next questions
Avoid disruptions


iii.) Confirm Your Understanding.
To avoid misunderstandings and promote the sales process, try paraphrasing what you heard your clients say to verify that you understood their message correctly and then asking for a confirmation. Restate in your own words what you perceive the customer's major needs/concerns are and ask him or her if your perceptions are correct: “So, to make sure I understand, you are looking for a 4-bedroom house with a bright kitchen. Is that correct?” Also, ask your client to prioritize their needs/concerns so that you understand clearly what the most important issues are. This technique will help you ensure that you understand your client’s requirements and will help you remember them better. It will also help develop a positive relationship with your client by showing him/her that you are concerned about getting the details right. Be careful not to repeat every sentence verbatim after the client says it, or you will run the risk of annoying the person.

iv.) Listen to the Body Language.
People use non-verbal communication just as much as, or more than, verbal communication. Body language and voice inflection give you clues about your client’s preferences, personality, readiness to proceed, etc. Body language carries a lot of meaning and can tell you a lot about your client’s preference for a particular feature or property. Watch the body language and listen to the tone of voice. If the body language is consistent with what the prospect is saying to you, it confirms the message. For example, if a prospect becomes animated when discussing the dream kitchen, you know that kitchen is an important selling point for that person.

However, often prospects say one thing with their words and a different thing with their bodies and tone. Often, the non-verbal messages provide more accurate information than the verbal messages. When speaking with a customer, be alert for “mixed messages” or inconsistencies, such as non-verbal cues not matching the verbal information being conveyed. Listening to the body language can also help decipher ambiguous or inconsistent statements, or in other words, can help you listen “between the lines.” For example, a prospect may say: “This house is really nice” in words, but her rigid body language may say: “This house is large, but it’s definitely not for me.”

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1.3 Managing the Sales Process.

Managing the sales process has much to do with control. As sales professional, it is your job to make the sales process as efficient as possible. It is not in anyone’s interest to view more properties than necessary or to engage in endless discussions.

i.) Know When to Talk and When to Listen.
In real estate sales it's easy to get wrapped-up in doing a lot of talking. Agents usually talk to people about property, keep them informed about the events in the marketplace, and inspire them to buy or sell. But the real key to building relationships with the people we'd most like to work with is in the ability to listen to them. Before you can convince your clients to buy, you need to determine whether a particular property is right for them. For example, when showing properties, don’t force your view on the client. Limit your communication to questions. Instead of saying: “That’s a great kitchen!” ask what your client thinks of it. By asking questions, you are getting the buyer involved. You are also acquiring information that your can use to determine whether this is the right property for your client. Listen to their responses carefully and watch their facial expressions. Is there something about the property they really love? Is there something they really hate? If this property is right for your clients, you can use the information to conclude the sale. If it is not, you will know to move on and not waste your time on this property.

ii.) Move the Process Forward.
Stay in control of the process and actively advance the sales process forward. It is important to avoid the state of indecision – a situation where you keep showing your clients house after house while waiting for them to fall in love with one. Make sure you manage the sales process by controlling the conversation. Don’t let the process get bogged down with unimportant issues. Keep your buyers focused on the purchase. Outline the process for your clients and make concrete suggestions for proceeding forward. Focus the conversation around issues that are important to the client and/or the sale. Limit your discussion of personal issues. In order to develop an ability to effectively move clients forward in the sales process, think through the objective of the meeting or the telephone conversation beforehand. If you can establish a purpose before your meeting or a call, you’ll be more likely to accomplishing that objective.

iii.) Deal with Objections.
Objections indicate that you are moving in the right direction. You should not have a negative attitude about objections. Objections are not a big wall between you and the sale, but rather a confirmation that the process is moving forward. Clients who do not voice objections are not interested. You do not want to continue showing properties and not knowing exactly why the clients are not choosing them. In fact, if you don’t hear objections, you should try to elicit them: “Can you see yourself in this house?” “How does it compare to the other house we saw?” “What is your top choice right now?”

There are only dozen or so standard objections and you should know how to respond to them. Standard objections may include: “This house has been badly maintained,” “The price is too high,” or “We’ll think about it.” Be ready to anticipate client objections and concerns in advance. Successful real estate agents are masters at dealing with objections. Read books on how to respond to standard objections (e.g., Mike Ferry), talk to successful agents in your office, and subscribe to an online discussion groups or newsletters. Practice delivering responses and over time you too will learn how to handle objections in the most effective ways possible.

Try these five steps to developing your own system of dealing with client objections:

Make a list of all the objections your clients and prospects are giving you that you would like to learn to effectively overcome.
Find the most effective ways to deal with objections: Read books etc., ask the most successful agents in your office their opinion on how to best overcome some of these objections, etc.
Write down what you think are the most effective responses you can give to overcome each of these objections.
Rehearse your responses to these objections until they become so natural that you can deliver them spontaneously whenever it is appropriate to do so with your clients and prospects.
Test effectiveness: Try these responses on clients and see how they respond, if necessary modify your response (if so, go back to step 3).

Here are a few basic rules for dealing with objections:

Answer every objection.
Try to answer every objection, but keep your answers simple. Your main objective is to indicate to the clients that you are hearing them and not discounting their objections or concerns. Be empathetic: “I understand your concern.”

Don’t argue.
When dealing with objections, never argue with your clients. Even if you win the argument, you usually lose the war. People don’t like to lose an argument and clients will leave you if you engage in an argument and win. Instead, listen to their objections and show them that you understand their concern (even if you disagree).

Make sure you know the real issue.
When dealing with objections, determine whether a particular objection is a “deal breaker.” If a particular objection appears to be critical, make sure that you understand the real source of the problem. Try isolating the objection by asking “Is that the main source of concern?” “If we can solve this problem, would you buy the property?”

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1.4 Closing Skills.

Closing skill is one of the most important determinants of success. Agents with solid closing skills conclude more deals and take less time to conclude any particular deal. You too can develop closing skills that yield results and don’t leave you or your client feeling beaten up, manipulated or “hard done by” at the end of the selling process. Below are suggestions that you can use to improve your closing skills.

i.) Timing.
Effective closing has much to do with “timing,” or one’s ability to recognize client’s buying signals and readiness to complete the transaction. When the customer appears receptive to close the deal, it is important to actually ask him or her to commit to the sale in a polite and tactful manner. Some clients, even though they like the property, will not make an offer without some form of prompting from you.

People in general have difficulties making important decisions. Buying or selling a house is one of the most important decisions people make. Even if the property is perfect for your clients, they often have a difficult time making the final decision. It is your job to help them arrive at the conclusion. You should never push your clients, particularly if the deal is not right for them. However, if the clients are satisfied with the property, its location, conditions, price, and can afford the payments, but are still plagued by indecision, they need your help. You should learn how to conclude the selling process but guiding them toward a decision and asking for a close.

One effective strategy with respect to timing is to use a series of trial closes. It is unlikely that you can close a client with one well-phrased line and a trial close can help you to (a) psychologically prepare the client for closure and (b) “test the waters.” For example, you can ask “Is this house big enough for your furniture?” or “I noticed you like the bench on the porch. Should we ask for it in the offer?” Clients’ answers can help you determine whether they are ready to be closed. If you are uncertain whether the customer is ready to close, ask questions like: "Do you have any more questions?" Trial closes also build momentum that is crucial in any sales process.

ii.) Learn to Apply Closing Techniques.
Learn several closing techniques and practice using them. Note that no single close will work all the time. It is particularly important to know WHEN to apply a particular technique (see above). Successful agents know not only what to say but also when to say it. The key is to be aware of the conditions under which any particular technique is appropriate. It is important to be able to alternate among the various techniques depending on the situation. There are a number of training courses, seminars, and books that can teach you techniques for closing a sale (e.g., Mike Ferry’s 1993 book How to Develop a Six Figure Income in Real Estate.)

For example, one popular closing technique is referred to as the Pain and Pleasure. This technique entails increasing your client’s level of discomfort and then making it better by concluding this transaction. For example, if a client has to move to the city in a month, ask the client if he has found a place to stay. Focus the client’s thoughts on the stress she or he will experience by having to find a temporary apartment. Then suggest showing the client how the stress would be lifted if he concluded the transaction and moved into the house in 30 days.

You can also learn by shadowing a top performer as he or she goes about selling activities. Learn by observing how they do it and discuss afterwards. Practice various closing techniques by having your spouse, colleague, trainer or broker in your company role-play the part of the customer.

iii.) Help Clients Realize That the Property is Right For Them.
It is natural for the client to have “cold feet” before committing to the property, no matter how perfect the property is. Some clients can get so nervous that they become unable to make a decision. At this point, you need to help your clients find the strength within themselves and complete the transaction. Try the following techniques.

Remind the client why they want this house.
Remind the client of the elements that excited him or her about the house on the first place: a beautiful kitchen or a lovely garden. Highlight the benefits of this property. Help buyer imagine themselves in that space, engaging in family activities. Get buyers emotionally involved with the house; when it comes to buying a home, people buy on emotion, and justify with reason.

Use the clients’ own words.
When you genuinely feel that the property meets all of their criteria, reassure them of this by describing the property in the exact words that they utilized when they told you what they were looking for in a property. When you tell them exactly in their own words it resonates within them as feeling real, as though they are saying the words themselves. When you try to tell them what a great property it is in your own words you risk sounding to them like a salesperson just trying to close the deal. Your words are not their words, and it's their words that count when it comes to deciding on moving forward on the property, or not. As an example, let's say during your initial appointment with a new prospect he or she tells you that they are looking for a place that feels, "spacious." If when walking them through a showing a day or two later you say something like, "This place feels really big," you may be really missing the boat if you think that the word "big" has the exact same meaning as the word "spacious" in your prospect's mind.

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2 COGNITIVE ABILITY

General intelligence is linked to success in sales, however by itself it is not a strong predictor of success. The important thing is continue to stay on top of the industry’s events and developments and keep abreast of new marketing and sales strategies in order to maintain a strategic performance edge. One way to do this is by monitoring key industry websites, such as www.realtytimes.com, www.brokeragentnews.com, www.inman.com, www.realtor.org, and www.russer.com. This will help you discover and learn new sales techniques. You may also consider working with a coach or a mentor on regular basis to deal with issues effectively as they arise.

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3 PERSONALITY

People are creatures of habit. When it comes to personality, it is more difficult to create lasting behavioral changes than sales skills. However, if you really want, you can make a change to some of your personality traits and become more effective as a real estate agent.

Please note that some of the techniques provided here involve modifications to personality traits and others are “work-arounds,” suggestions for improving your effectiveness given your personality type. For example, “Teaming Up” is one strategy that takes advantage of the differences in personality. More extraverted agents, who are typically strong at generating and developing leads, can team up with less extraverted agents, who may feel more comfortable working with “signed” clients by managing the sales process. The “Teaming Up” strategy allows agents to capitalize on complementary preferences, skills and abilities. For example, often Rainmakers, high-producing agents, specialize in lead development and pass on their leads to their team to see the deal to completion.

Experiment with these tried-and-tested approaches and see which work for you.

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3.1 Extraversion


3.1.a Sociability

If your score on sociability is below average, you may find these tips useful. Try them all and see which work for you.

i.) Prepare an Introduction.
If you do not feel comfortable talking with new people you meet, you may want to prepare and memorize a short introduction that ends with an open-ended question. This will let the prospect speak and take the pressure off you. The following questions should be considered when crafting your opening:

Why am I talking to this prospect?
Why should they buy from me?
What can I offer that no one else can?
What do I want?
What’s the least I will settle for?

ii.) Find a Friendly Place to Canvass.
If you are low in sociability, you may find canvassing – which for most agents involves cold calling on the telephone and knocking on strangers’ doors – particularly difficult. You may consider canvassing in more friendly places, such as country or tennis clubs, charitable organizations, or the golf course. People often prefer to do business with whom they socialize outside of business. Consequently, many successful agents find that canvassing in social situations that don’t look like typical canvassing circumstances allow them to build better relationships and generate more income than cold calling and door knocking. Try getting more involved in clubs, charities, and social organizations. Here are some ideas to improve your networking skills:

Be prepared.
Networking opportunities can present themselves at anytime, anywhere, so you always need to be ready to meet people. Know in advance what types of people you want to meet, what types of questions you want to ask them and what type of information you are looking for. Keep an open mind and keep business cards on your person, in your car, and even at home. Plan for networking events in advance, schedule regular meetings in your calendar and always been on the search for new events or opportunities to find people who can help you.

Give first.
Relationships are built on give and take. In order to sell effectively, you must understand the concept of giver’s gain. Humans are programmed to reciprocate and reciprocity is one of the most powerful influence and communication techniques. The power of reciprocity and our human desire to want to give back to others who have first given to us is an effective way to build a supportive network. Give of yourself first. When you first meet a new contact, be the first to share information and pass on a referral. And don't forget to check up on how the referral worked out. This follow up is like the “courtship of your new relationship!”

Listen more.
Zig Ziglar teaches that the best way to get what you want is to first help others get what they want. How do we know what others want? Simply, listen more and talk less. You don’t learn anything by talking, anyway – only by listening. According to Steve Covey, this is one of the techniques used by successful sales people: “They first seek to understand and then they seek to be understood.” As a good rule of thumb, you should be speaking 30% of the time and listening 70%. How do you do this? Try asking questions that start with Why? Who? or What?

iii.) Consider Using Technology.
Many experts believe that selling is a “numbers game” and cold calling is the best way to generate “numbers” in the least amount of time. However, if you find it difficult making cold calls, consider using technology. Automated Voice Broadcast System allows you to pre-record canvassing calls and have the system automatically dial prospects and leave messages for them on voicemail that sound like a live call intended specifically for that person. If a live person answers the phone, the system says, “Sorry, wrong number,” and hangs up. It then tries again later and only leaves messages if the phone is answered by voicemail.

A message may sound something like this: ”Hi, this is Michael Beads with Home Realty. I haven’t spoken with you in awhile and I’m calling to see if you are now thinking of selling your property. I’m working with buyers who are looking to purchase in your area, so if you are thinking of selling, I may already have someone who will buy your property. Call me, 123-4567. I look forward to speaking with you.”

One company that sells voice broadcast system is www.hobbsherder.com/products. To find other similar products, conduct a search on www.google.com.

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3.1.b Assertiveness

i.) Assertiveness Techniques.
You can try to increase your assertiveness. There is evidence that assertiveness training actually works, particularly well with people who are not entirely passive or continuously aggressive. One important component of assertive communication is being specific and clear about what you want when dealing with clients. Try using statements that project preciseness: “I want to...,” “I don't want you to...,” “Would you...?” For example, you may say: “I want you to buy a house you’ll be comfortable in and I think this is the house for you.” Don’t be afraid to be direct. You clients will appreciate your direct approach and trust you. Ask for feedback, "Am I being clear? How do you see this situation? What do you want to do?" Asking for feedback can encourage others to correct any misperceptions you may have as well as help others realize that you are expressing an opinion, feeling, or desire rather than a demand. Encourage others to be clear, direct, and specific in their feedback to you. You can also consider working with a coach to increase your assertiveness or reading books on assertiveness (see below).

Adler, R. B. (1977). Confidence in communication: A guide to assertive and social skills. New York: Holt, Rinehart and Winston.
Alberti, R. E. & Emmons, M. L. (1975, 1986). Stand up, speak out, talk back. New York: Pocketbooks.
Alberti also has six audiotapes: Making yourself heard: A guide to assertive relationships. San Luis Obispo, CA: Impact Publishers.
Bloom, L. Z., Coburn, K. & Pearlman, J. (1976). The new assertive woman. New York: Dell.
Bower, S. A. & Bower, G. H. (1976). Asserting yourself: A practical guide for positive change. Reading, Mass.: Addison-Wesley.
Elgin, S. (1980). The gentle art of verbal self-defense. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall.
Jakubowski, P. & Lange, A. (1985). The assertive option: Your rights and responsibilities. Champaign, IL: Research Press.
Phelps, S. & Austin, N. (1987). The assertive woman: A new look. San Luis Obispo, CA: Impact Publishers.


ii.) Non-Verbal Communication.
As you learn to become more assertive, remember to use your non-verbal communication skills. It is not just what you say to someone, but also how you say it. Assertive people have presence. Use your voice tone, gestures, eye contact, facial expression and posture to increase your impact on others.

iii.) Use Scripts.
Individuals low in assertiveness often find it difficult to come up with good lines on the spot. Learning scripts can be helpful in this regard. Knowing what to say when clients hesitate to make a decision in a selling situation can be the difference between a sale and a lost opportunity. Scripting will allow you to help the client at the highest level by accurately communicating in a convincing fashion the benefits of a particular decision. To be well scripted is to be prepared to help the client evaluate the situation carefully by weighing all sides less emotionally.

Note that telephone solicitors who sound as if they are reading from a cue card are not well-scripted. Rather, being well scripted means being able to give an automatic response to a given situation. The difference between the amateur and the professional is the skill and delivery. Professional sales people have perfected their delivery of words when they overcome objections, list properties, or ask for the close.

You can visit Mike Ferry’s site (www.mikeferry.com/free/) for free scripts, or browse the many books available on www.amazon.com. Practice scripts until you feel completely comfortable delivering these lines as if they were yours.

iv.) Plan Your Response.
Practice in your mind to deal with various situations where you would like to act more assertively. Figure out appropriate ways of asserting yourself in this situation. There are many ways to devise effective, tactful, fair assertive responses. Watch a good model. Discuss the problem situation with a colleague, a coach, a broker, or other person. Carefully note how others respond to situations similar to yours and consider if they are being unassertive, assertive or aggressive. Practice the giving assertive responses mentally and out loud with a partner by role-playing a situation. Next, try being assertive in real life situations. Start with the easier, less stressful situations. Build some confidence. Make adjustments in your approach as needed.

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3.2 Conscientiousness

3.2.a Achievement-Orientation

“Whether you think you can or can’t, either way, you’re right.”

i.) Set Goals.
Goals are great motivators! In order to succeed, you need to know where you are going. Develop a vision for your future and establish goals of where you want to be in a year, 3 years, 5 years. Make your goals ambitious and challenging. Create a picture in your mind of this outcome actually happening. Continue to visualize your future every day. The clearer the image, the higher the likelihood of you actually reaching it. As Walt Disney said, “If you can dream it, you can do it!” To succeed, you need to know what you want.

ii.) Devise a Plan of Action.
Prepare a plan of action of how you are going to reach your goals. Start with the big picture and work out the specific steps you need to take and the targets you need to reach to get there. What do you need to do every day? Every week? This will be your roadmap that is going to get you to your dream.

Create a “business plan” for yourself where you outline your steps and milestones in detail. You should specify the number of cold calls you need to make each day, the number of leads you need to generate, your sales targets, etc. Write it all down on paper. Doing this will keep you focused and help you keep track of your progress (see below). Your “business plan” will not emerge over a weekend, but will rather develop gradually as your ideas will gradually solidify. Make time every day for a personal strategy session. As your plan emerges, discuss it with other successful agents, a mentor, or a coach. Bounce your ideas off them, check your plan for realism, and get their suggestions for reaching your goals.

Continually search for ways to do things differently and learn from the best. Keep an eye on what other successful agents are doing to achieve their goals. If other agents in your office are achieving greater success, they may be using a different strategy. Find out what they are doing and figure out how to incorporate these activities into your own business plan.

iii.) Stay Focused on Your Goals and Keep Track of Progress.
You can achieve whatever you focus your attention on. Top performers focus their attention on the things that get them excited and empower them to achieve greatness in their business. Make sure your attention stays focused on accomplishing your real estate goals. Don’t let anything divert your attention away from maximizing your success in the business. Begin each week with a list of things you have to accomplish that week.

Keep track of your progress by benchmarking against the targets in your “business plan.” Keep records of your goals and your actual performance. Each week, compare your actual activities and achievements to those you have specified in your “business plan.” Did you reach or surpass the number of cold calls or generated leads? Don’t get off track for extended periods of time. Schedule reminders in your calendar or scheduling software to remind you to check-in with yourself to see if you're on track with respect to your goals.

iv.) Keep Yourself Pumped Up!

Try the following techniques to keep yourself pumped up and excited about achieving your goals. Remember: The greater your drive to succeed in this business, the more successful you will become throughout your career.

Associate with the right people.
Take a few minutes and review the people you associate with every day. Deliberately try to increase your interaction with successful, positive and dynamic people – their energy and enthusiasm will rub off on you. Reduce your exposure to negative thinkers and mediocre agents as much as possible. Being surrounded by complainers and moaners will drag you down.

Motivational tapes and seminars.
Use the time available to you in your car to listen to motivational or selling skills tapes. A great source for these can be your local real-estate association or sales organizations, such as www.sellingpower.com.

Celebrate your successes.
A goal rewarded is a goal that gets done, so find a way to reward yourself after accomplishing each goal. For example, reward yourself after you complete your daily prospecting calls by a trip to Starbucks for a “vente triple shot non fat mocha.” No calls, no coffee – its that simple.

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3.2.b Dependability.

i.) Prioritize Your Objectives and Schedule Your Time.
Plan your activities for the next day, next week, next month. Identify the activities that are most likely going to yield business and assign higher priority to them. Focus your mind on income generating activities, and delegate or eliminate other activities.

Allocate your time to those activities that will most likely yield business, such as prospecting, personal promotions, and so on.
Delegate activities that will not directly generate income, but still need to be done (e.g., bookkeeping), to other professionals (i.e., hire a bookkeeper).
Eliminate altogether activities that will not directly lead to your success and do not need to be done.

Once you get organized, stick to the plan and you will find that you will see immediate benefits. Begin each day by reviewing the list of activities for that day and conclude each day by reviewing your accomplishments. Doing this simple routine will help you to stay focused on your plan of action and reach your annual goals.

ii.) Identify and Eliminate Time Wasting Activities.
Mentally review your current daily activities and identify those activities that interfere with your productivity: Spending too much time socializing at the office, surfing the Internet, having personal phone conversations at the office, attending to personal items during office hours, taking long lunches, arriving to the office late or leaving early. Now that you are aware of the activities that waste your time, stop doing them! Think of your time as a key resource and use it effectively. Replace the activities that waste your time with the activities that make you money. As you force yourself to fill your working hours with the productive activities, your success will increase.

Stay vigilant and do not allow distractions to divert your attention from what you need to do to achieve success. Create conditions for yourself that help you stay focused. For example, during the time scheduled for making prospecting calls put up a “Do NOT Disturb” sign and let all incoming calls go into voicemail. This way you can focus on what you need to do and eliminate distractions that may interfere with your prospecting.

iii.) Keep Records.
Keep records of your activities and achievements: Who did you call, when, etc. Technology can greatly help you be more organized and to keep track of details. Computer software and electronic organizers can also help to maintain a digital record of your activities. This technology can also organize your leads and clients (and even keep track of their personal information, like pet names), as well as organize your day and remind you of upcoming appointments and the activities you need to do during the day, week, etc. Some of the more popular software packages include Top Producer, Online Agent, ACT, and Goldmine.

iv.) Do Just a Bit More.
Doing just a little bit more every day can really add up to a significant gain is sales. Gradually, over time, doing a little more can turn an average agent into a top producer. Try it for yourself. Arrive at the office a bit earlier, stay a bit later, push a bit harder, and try to do just a bit more. Each day, write an extra thank-you note, make an extra cold call, follow up with one more prospect, or learn one more selling or marketing technique from your colleagues or from a website.

v.) Make Yourself Accountable.
The top 10% of sales performers have one thing in common. They are committed to detailed accountability. Mark the time you are going to spend on goal related tasks in your calendar each day, or each week, and close your door to your office while completing them Turn off you email and don’t take in-bound calls. If you work in a cubical, find a closed office to work in. The fewer distractions you have, the faster the work will get done. At the end of each day, ask yourself: “Have I accomplished every task I set out to accomplish today?” If you have, congratulate yourself! If you have not, ask yourself “What prevented me from completing my daily tasks?” and try to overcome that obstacle the following day.

vi.) Share Your Goals.
Publicly commit to your goals and the daily activities that you plan to undertake to get there. Inform your broker, spouse, friends, and colleagues about your “business plan” for yourself and tell them of your resolution to take certain actions (e.g., I will make 200 cold calls a week, etc.). Make it difficult for yourself deviate from your plan of action. You can also work with a coach who will hold you accountable to the goals you say you want to accomplish.

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3.3 Emotional Resilience

“Success is determined by the quality of your thoughts.”

Being emotionally resilient does not mean being cold and emotionless. Rather, it means being able to successfully control your mental and emotional states. A career in real estate sales is full of emotional highs and lows, and successful agents manage to maintain a positive, fired-up state. Successful agents develop ways to deflect adversity, to let it bounce off them as if they were bulletproof. Although they still feel the sting of adversity, they don’t let it affect their business and can quickly get right back on track. In contrast, agents who cannot overcome their negative or uncertain thoughts tend to struggle in the business.

Experiment with the following techniques and find out which work for you.

i.) Think Positive!
A career in real estate sales is filled with ups and downs. In this business, you are exposed to events that challenge your emotional well being as much or more than any other chosen career. However, at any given moment you have the ability to focus your attention and energy on whatever you want in your business. While it is more natural for people to think about negative things (e.g., 8 out of 10 thoughts tend to be negative, reflecting fears, personal concerns, negative news from the media, gossip, etc.), try making a conscious effort to focus on the positive thoughts and to think about the opportunities. Flood your mind with “positivity”, thus displacing any negative thoughts.

Your positive thoughts will create positive feelings, which in turn will produce behaviors that will lead to results (see graph). For example, if you think that there is plenty of opportunity, you will feel energized and confident and will invest more effort in pursuing business, and as a result you’ll get great results. In contrast, if you think that the business is generally slow, you will not want to aggressively pursue new business, which will yield poor results. Note that it is irrelevant whether your thoughts are right or wrong – your results will be what you expect them to be!

Try these techniques to Think Positive!

Create a “Think Positive!” file.
Put together a file of items that make you happy, such as pictures of your family and friends, personal notes, inspirational quotes, and so on. When you feel down, go to this file and it will give you a boost. It will bring you out of your negative state by putting your life in perspective. Whatever happens to cause you to feel sad, a rude client or a failed sale, it’s not important when considered in perspective of your life. You have many great things going on that are way more important. At times of sadness, you should remind yourself of everything that is positive and important.

Use motivational tapes and books.
There are many speakers and authors who can give you the necessary boost when you need it. For example, check out www.attitudeiseverything.com and www.sellingpower.com or The Self-Talk Solution by Shad Helmstetter for a compilation of positive expressions. You can even go see a good comedy show and laughter will make you feel better.

Distractions.
One of the most common strategies (and more useful) for controlling an emotion is to avoid paying attention to the feelings and the situation associated with the unwanted feelings. Even eating and drinking (college favorites) can help you get out of a bad mood. Exercise, playing with the kids, doing nice things for yourself, and trying some self-improvement are all effective mood-changers.

Choose your conversations.
Speak as often as you can with successful individuals, irrespective of the field they are in. Talk with them about their successes. The reverse is also true. Stay away from negative discussions by limiting your exposure to those agents who enjoys talking about how tough it is to make money or how difficult things are in the market.

ii.) Praise Yourself.
Self-recognition is critical for successful self-managed selling. Make a deliberate effort to recognize your achievements and praise yourself for a job well done. Positive reinforcement keeps us all going and spurs us on to achieve more. Unfortunately, in real estate sales, there is often no one else to fully recognize our accomplishments. Find a few phases that give you energy surge and use them. Every time you do something right or achieve something, take a moment to “appreciate” yourself. Congratulate yourself on the job well done or try using non-verbal self-praise, like give yourself a pat on the back or two-thumbs up. You will find yourself feeling more confident and self-assured. Do it for a week and see if you notice the difference in how you feel. If you find this approach effective for you, just keep doing it!

Note that self-recognition is not necessarily the same as affirmations. Affirmations are statements that you repeat to yourself daily about the qualities you aspire to have within yourself as a person and the results that you intend to produce in your life. Affirmations can be ineffective because they are frequently incongruent with your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Simply saying that you are the best will not work, unless you really believe that you are the best. In contrast, self-recognition is effective because the self-praise comes after an action or an achievement, and therefore it is consistent with your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Self-recognition works because you believe in what you are saying as you are simply recognizing the reality of the situation.

iii.) Change Your Perspective on Failure.
Realize that everybody fails sometimes and that successful people fail more often than others! In fact, people who have achieved the biggest successes in their careers have also had big failures along the way. Did you know that David Letterman lost a TV job as a weatherman? The same in real estate sales. Agents who end up achieving the greatest success also fail the most along the way, have more deals blow up at the last minute, and are rejected by more prospects than any other agent. However, they don’t take their failures personally. They look upon their failures as opportunities to learn, to obtain feedback so that they can succeed the next time.

Don’t feel bad about failing. Instead, view failure as an opportunity to learn and as a step toward success! Just make sure to learn from it and keep going. It’s just a step on the road to success and when you become extremely successful, people will completely forget about your many other failures along the way. Embrace short-term failure as a vital component to great long-term success. Your biggest failures will become the greatest stories that you will tell your friends and laugh about years later.

iv.) Share Your Feelings.
Sometimes sharing your negative experiences releases the feelings associated with them and allows you to move on. Try periodically meeting with a trusted friend or a colleague and sharing your experiences and feelings. Many people find telling their story to a supportive listener is healthy. You can also use a coach to release your negative feelings. The bottom line: Don’t dwell on negatives.

v.) Relax.
Relaxation can also help you get rid of your negative feelings. Massage is one of the more relaxing activities. It takes no special skills, only gentleness, affection and time. Relaxing in a warm bath while reading a good book can also be very effective. Take your mind off your problems by doing something you like. Cheer yourself up by engaging in a pleasant activity.


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